HOAs

I've got an HOA in my neighborhood. I probably take it for granted. I'm sure it does good things. It has to, right? So many neighborhoods have them. They keep the place maintained, decorate at holidays, tell people what they can and can not do to keep the value of your neighborhood high. Right? That's what they tell you. That's what you hope they are doing since you have to pay them fees every year.

But see, I think HOAs are also made up of board members with too much time on their hands. Or people who are power hungry and like telling other people what to do. Or people who delight in conflict and getting involved in business that isn't theirs. Because I'm dealing with an HOA right now that is driving me crazy!

They don't think people with disabilities should be able to rent a house in their neighborhood. Some in the community think it is a half way house and that scares them. They don't like it that a business is being run in their neighborhood. What they won't consider is that people with lower IQs need around the clock help even when they are adults and want some independence.

In my case, I am renting a home to a company that finds housing for people with lower IQs. The neighborhood HOA says a business can't be run out of the home. OK. The business isn't being run out of that home. The business is run somewhere else, this is just where the two fellas live. But the HOA doesn't like that.

So they say it is a single family neighborhood. Yeah? The bylaws say that two non familial people can live in the same house. It even says they can have a caretaker visit them. These two men have a caretaker coming in throughout the day to help them. The caretaker doesn't live at the house. So what's the problem?

I then get thrown back the "you can't run a business out of your home." I'd bet you there are plenty of Ebay businesses being run out of homes in that neighborhood. I'd bet there are plenty of hairdressers cutting hair out of their home. I'd even bet there are people who work from home in that neighborhood. But the HOA doesn't try to give them the boot from the neighborhood.

I've lost my temper a couple of times on the phone with both the property management company and the HOA board member. She, the board member, actually hung up on me after saying I'd hear from her lawyer. Nice, huh? Here's the problem, though. They send me letters every 5 days saying I'm breaking the bylaws and after the third letter they will start charging me fines.

Apparently they want me to come to their board meeting and present my case to the board. However, they scheduled it when I will be out of town. Instead of trying to reschedule at a convenient time for me, I get hung up on and told I'll hear from their lawyer. Oops, HOA lady, the manager lady already let it slip that you don't have a lawyer. But hey, let's use those HOA funds that everyone pays for a lawyer. I've advised my tenant to do the same for her business...that she runs out of HER house, not my rental property. The Texas Association of Realtors agrees with me, btw. They've given me a lawyer to suggest to my tenant. Who knows if she'll want to fight it, though.

That saddens me. You want to know what else saddens me but makes me laugh at the same time? This story from today in my very own neighborhood. As I was leaving to run errands I stopped to take a picture of the ugliest lawn ornament I've seen in a long time. Here it is:

That pink flamingo is so large they have to anchor it because it's blown over a time or two. Not my decorating style, to be sure. Also to be sure, people in my own neighborhood are going to be offended by what I say here. Yeah, well, that's nothing new to me. Because as I was peering through the cast iron fence to zoom in and take this picture (my car was across the street at the community mail box) a neighbor out for her morning walk asked if I lived here. I said Yes and she said she didn't have time to stop and talk but that flamingo is causing BIG trouble in this neighborhood. BIG TROUBLE.

I raised my eyes and said, "Really?"

Apparently LOTS of people in the neighborhood don't like it and insisted that the homeowner take it down. It was down for a while but (Gasp!) He. Put. It. Back. Up! And now people are raging mad! BIG TROUBLE she tells me. She keeps on huffing and puffing on her walk and I tell her I just think it's funny. Then I get in my car and drive away.

On my way back I came home that same way so I could drive by and stop and take another picture. Maybe this will explain why this flamingo is such BIG TROUBLE. Because this is the back yard in which it is found:

Folks, I'll never be able to afford a house like this. It's got a pool, a gazebo, and even a pond with a fountain as it sits on the golf course. It's probably worth millions of dollars. You also don't see the swing set and other lawn ornaments they have. And this is the BACK of the house! People come and sit at the pond because it's part of the golf course (though they use grey water so it stinks sometimes) and they like to spend time fishing in it. Turtles swim and sun themselves at the pond, sometimes there are ducks, and I suppose there are fish but I doubt they are any big. It's just a fun spot to take pictures and relax. It's a beautiful background. Until you see the ugly flamingo, I guess.

So this is my beef, Really neighbors? A wealthy family with young kids isn't allowed to have bad taste in lawn ornamentation? It's really none of your business. You don't like it? Too bad. Don't put one up in YOUR back yard. Apparently this homeowner DOES like it. Guess what? It's HIS back yard! He can put up whatever he wants. YOU don't have to like it. There is nothing offensive about it. YOU, neighbors, need to get a sense of humor. YOU, neighbors, are the one making this such a BIG DEAL. I don't want my HOA money going to bother this homeowner. 

Get a life! You must have too much time and not enough real worries in your rich part of the neighborhood over there. This is the same place that recently was on the news for having a wild "herd" of emus running around. I'm not kidding! That was super cute for someone to video tape. Apparently a huge pink flamingo is an eye sore. If it hurts your eyes, turn them somewhere else. Maybe to the dust and crap in your own house that other people don't like. Oh wait, that's their problem because it's YOUR house and you can decorate it however you want!

And that right there, folks, is why you don't want me as your neighbor. I'll tell you I really don't care if you don't like both the interior and/or exterior "decorating" I do. I'll probably just laugh and tell you I think it's funny that my DECORATIONS are causing BIG TROUBLE in the neighborhood. And then, maybe, I'll turn around and ask you if you hear that dog that is forever barking? You know...YOUR dog!?! Hmm, maybe I should call the HOA!   :)