Let me begin by saying this...I have to learn A LOT of things the hard way. If you don't know how I injured myself this summer watch this:
Lisa's stupid Tarzan attempt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZkVLxAhuTk
Unbeknownst to everyone, I chipped bone in my left middle finger and sprained my right middle finger. Going zip lining on a huge course a few days later was not the best thing to do but hey, it was fun. Until I fell off the last platform when the guide grabbed my hand and squeezed it too tightly. Good thing we all have safety harnesses on, huh?
Lisa giving Amos the finger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsrY8JQTzC0
They've been still bothering me. Bad enough that I finally had them xrayed this week. And went to a hand specialist. I declined to then go to a physical therapist for stretching exercises because really, I'm cheap. I'm tired of doctor appointments. Besides, I can stretch my fingers just fine by typing and doing day to day living.
Which I learned is part of the problem with finger injuries. Those and elbows are the most common joints we use in our bodies so they can take up to a year to heal. Huh. I did learn after listening to well intentioned individuals (my pcp doctor and husband) that splinting a sprained finger is not the best thing to do for it since you are straightening it out and that is just putting more pressure and stress on that joint. That is why it will throb after a few hours and regular Advil won't touch the pain. Not even the heavy duty pain meds I have in my possession. So I unwrapped that bad boy because no way would I be able to sleep like that. And found out the next day from the specialist that I was correct. See? BHiBTBS. And sometimes being happy is smarter than well intentioned individuals!
If you don't follow me on FB then you missed today's post. I'll retell it here:
After spending all day in bed yesterday I woke up feeling like this first picture. Yep, a good 'ole fibromyalgia flare. But this time I don't have a chronic migraine (thank you infusion) so let's see how it goes. Had a jetted bubble bath (physical therapy because it hurts having the spray hit your muscles and tender spots), my goal is to make it to sacrament meeting at church, so this is as good as it's gonna get. Smile and fake it 'till you make it, right? Because church and feeling the love of my Savior is worth it. And now before I head off to church it's time for a Coke. Or a knock off brand, I don't even care. Judge me for having caffeine, judge me for not looking what you think is my "Sunday best", judge me for wearing white after Labor Day, judge me for whatever...I'm not easily offended. smile emoticon Hope you enjoy your Sabbath day, too.
I don't tell you this so you'll be sorry for me. I tell you this to let you know that I know what physical and mental pain is all about. I deal with a lot of it. Half of you are smarter than me...I have IQ tests to prove it...so you also know I have never and will never claim to be an expert on all subjects. (Though I DO know an awful lot about hair styling, some kinds of crafts, and health issues.) I know I may have fooled a lot of you and you won't believe that I'm not expert in MOST things. I mean, you have seen me dancing. You do get to benefit from my storytelling, writing, and political view "skills". And pictures. And posts.
I also post a lot about religion so I may seem an expert on that. Again, I say no. But I DO have a lot of experience in Christian living because I have lived that way my whole life. I DO know Jesus is real. He comforted me in His arms this spring when I had my weird reaction to the ketamine infusion. We did laugh and talk while I visited Him. He did tell me I needed to leave and go back to Dave. I had to leave the light. He practically picked me up and shooed me away. How do I know this? I wrote it down. Dave heard me saying, "Who is Jesus? Who is Dave? I don't want to live like this anymore!" (See above and previous posts as to why. No, I am not suicidal. I am a realist since I live with chronic pain and have for the past 10 years.)
Do you want to know how that last treatment has changed me mentally? Besides the lower IQ and memory loss, etc? It has changed me spiritually. My BF tells me I have definitely changed. I am not the Lisa she knew before the treatment. I think she means I am more forceful in my opinions. I'm less tactful. I think she's right.
I was told last week that I am too forceful in my opinions and too untactful in my comments on FB. So much so that a total stranger wanted to meet me so we could talk and she could explain why my comments were hurtful. Guess what? I jumped at the chance.
Why? Because I really don't mean to offend people. I am at a point in my life that I really don't care too much what other people think about me. Now if I have food stuck in my teeth, please tell me. I hate that! If I have toilet paper stuck to my shoe or if I'm having some kind of wardrobe malfunction, please tell me. I DO care about that. But what you think of me personally if you don't really know me? I don't care. I DO care about your feelings, though, so I agreed to meet this lady at the house of a mutual neighbor.
We spent 2 1/2 hours talking. They explained how they now know I'm not some white, Christian, middle aged, woman bent on hurting others but my comments could offend someone else in a situation where I might sound judgmental. OK. But isn't that what social media is about? Hearing other people's opinions? Getting advice? Or has FB just turned into something that you are only allowed to share and like? I don't know, I don't know anyone who has been personally fired because their boss didn't like their comments on FB.
I spent some of that time explaining why I feel the way I do. They spent time explaining the way they feel and why. I'm not going to go into specifics, the mutual friend asked that I not, but let me just say this: Jesus is real. God is real. If you believe in Buddha, or Ala, or Muhammad, or whoever/whatever else, that's great. If your religious texts are telling you you are better than any/everyone else, those texts and leaders are telling you wrong. If I make you feel like I think I'm better than you...YOU are wrong. Let me repeat that: YOU ARE WRONG!
Does the truth hurt sometimes? Yes. Does life hurt sometimes? Yes. Are people bullied sometimes? Yes. Is EVERYONE misunderstood at times and offended? Yes. Can you learn to get over it? Yes. Will Jesus help you? Yes. Will faith in God help you? Yes. At least all of my answers to these questions are YES.
If any of your answer to any of the questions are No, you are wrong. Ouch, did I really just say that?!? Yep. You are wrong and I feel sorry for you. I pity you. Most people I know don't like to feel like they are wrong...or that people pity them and feel sorry for them. (My dad was worried about that after I dedicated that post to him.) But I'm nothing but honest lately so let me tell you the truth...I pity you. I feel sorry for you. I love you but I don't mind telling you you are wrong. I KNOW these things.
If you don't believe it I can't change your mind. I'm not going to argue about it, arguing doesn't change any one's mind. But some people have to learn things the hard way and you may be one of them, my friends and blog readers. It's much easier to take well intentioned advice from someone who has experienced it before you but you can't/won't always do that. I get it. But quit whining and complaining to us about how tough your life is if you won't listen and try new things!
Don't take my word for it. Try to learn about Christianity. But the best place to learn about it is from Christians...not Muslims, not Jews, not atheists, not witches, not those who don't believe in organized religion, not even by people who don't believe in the Bible. Why did I throw in the last one? Because the Bible is all about Christ! If you don't believe in the Old Testament you can't just decide to follow the New Testament. You can't say adultery is OK now a days because the Ten Commandments are only in the Old Testament. You can't say sin is OK because Jesus forgave sinners and didn't throw the first stone at them. You can't say Jesus only taught: Do what feels good to you and do only what you want or what you want to be true." Sorry, it doesn't work that way.
Jesus' main mission was to glorify His Father. He also came to save each and every one of us. That means me. That means you. That means Muslims, Jews, politicians, atheists, lawyers, teachers, all races, all ages, ALL OF MANKIND.
Does this offend you? Then you are crazy! Nothing will make you happy. You'd better stop reading my blog, unfriend or unfollow me on FB, stop buying crafts from me, tell me to stop sending you emails, or whatever because I WILL NOT STOP!
I will not stop declaring the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ! Not now, not ever. I KNOW HE IS REAL! I SAT WITH HIM THIS SUMMER! My pain is real. Your pain, whatever it is, is real. Your doctor can't always fix it. Surgery and medication and herbs and clean living may help but you can't run away from problems. Your mom can't fix it with a hug and a kiss. Neither can your husband, your spouse, your children, your pastor, your friends, or neighbors, or FB community, or family, or anyone else. Money, more love, more fame, a better job, a new car or house, etc isn't going to fix it either. Life is an individual journey. We came into this world as individual spirits (yes, even twins came with their own spirits...even conjoined twins) and we will leave this life as one spirit.
That is truth. That is science (at least the kind of science I relate to.) You will be judged by the One true judge by what you thought, what you said, what you did. YOU and only you. Not by your abusive father/mother/husband/children/neighbor/... How you responded. Offended yet? Too bad! Someone has got to point this out to you. Someone who loves you and wants what is best for you. Really, that someone is ME! Why else would I risk losing your love and friendship?
My pain clinic doctors have told me all the time about having "pain tools" in my bag of tricks for dealing with my issues. I'll give y'all some free advice...the best pain tool for whatever ails you is prayer. You've got a friend. You've got a Father. You've got someone who understands what you are going through and that someone wants to help you very very much. But He can't if you won't let Him. He will never make you. It's all your choice. And if you learn it and believe it once, He will not force it on you. You can always change your mind and go back to your original pain without Him.
Stop being so stubborn. Stop being so proud. Stop being so ignorant. Being Happy is better than all of those things. The best pain tool I can give you is lds.org.
Let me say it again...lds.org. Check it out. And quit telling me I am offending you. You are choosing to be offended. Sheesh, Americans are whiners and cry babies!
Still, I'm proud to be a fat, English speaking, Christian, woman, middle aged American. Because I can choose what to say, who to say it to, if I want to carry a gun, what I want to eat, and all that other good stuff. And so can you. Enjoy it while you can. The grass may always seem greener on the other side. I say go and see for yourself if you are so unhappy and so easily offended.
Just don't end your life to see how great it is after this life. You can feel that happiness and security right now. But it will take work. Faith, hope, patience, obedience, trust, learning...and a lot less feeling sorry for yourself.
And that is the message I want to leave with you this beautiful Sabbath day. I hope you were able to go to church. I did. And I sang and I worshipped. And I obviously blogged.
Amen. :)
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