Happiness Hack...Find the humor

I started this blog 6 years ago as a way to talk about my life changing experience after a “cocktail infusion” for chronic pain. It’s kind of morphed into a family newsletter and that’s ok.

I am a talker and an open book. I don’t mind sharing my experiences if those experiences can help someone else. I don’t get to socialize much because of my health issues and because I live out in the middle of nowhere so my way of chatting is through emails and social media. Being happy is what’s most important to all of us really, isn’t it? So that’s what I hope this blog is remembered for, my happiness hacks. Being Happy is Better Than Being Smart, Being Happy is Better Than Being Rich, Being Happy is Better Than Being Famous, Being Happy is Better Than…you fill in the blank for what fits you and your stage of life.

I don’t need to be a famous blogger, don’t even want it. Just know that I’m not in this for the likes or shares or popularity or whatever because sure, I like when people share my sense of humor but I’m not going to worry about being super PC and tiptoe around to avoid offending someone because my audience is friends and family. I do a good enough job of unintentionally offending them so I KNOW I’d put my foot in my mouth chatting to the whole world. Sheesh, that’s part of the problem today imo. People get too offended and are quick to show it. Slow down and hear both sides. My opinion is that there are two sides to every story and the truth is usually somewhere in the middle.

I’m no comedian but humor helps keep me happy. I still have chronic health issues but come on, don’t we all?  Some of us just have more invisible “disabilities” than others. Learn to love yourself, learn to laugh at yourself, learn to laugh about the world because sometimes you need to or you’ll go crazy. There is only so much you have control over so do your best.

Now that that’s out of the way, let me tell you about my newest challenge. The migraines and fibromyalgia have become manageable for now but a new problem has appeared, anxiety/panic attacks. Folks, this stuff hurts just as much as physical pain! I hate being out of control of my thoughts and not being able to talk myself through my worst fears. Talking about it is my therapy and I think it’s helpful that other people know they aren’t the only ones struggling with it. So let me tell you some things I am trying to do to stay happy while I figure out how to deal with anxiety.

I’m trying to go back to the basics, the stuff you know already but you could get away without doing when you were younger and could handle more stress (or at least I could.) For me that includes eating regularly, taking my vitamins, exercising (which is more stretching instead of step aerobics or zumba unfortunately), daily prayer and scripture study, daily service, and getting the sleep I need. (Yes, I realize and am thankful that I don't have to be in the working world. I've done the research and it seems like most "invisible" disabilities require a lot of paperwork and even lawyers to get the label so you can get financial help.) I’m also using an Alpha-Stim machine to try to cut back on some of the medications I take. Here’s a link to that if you are interested https://www.alpha-stim.com/. Here’s also a great relaxation video you can listen to if you need it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1okOQpAD1I&t=1973s.

I had a pretty bad anxiety/panic attack yesterday; I think it’s my body’s way of saying “too much”. I'm learning that if “too much” is caused by something I am doing I can stop at the slightest hint of anxiety and try to focus on something else. But if that “too much” is caused by medication there is nothing I can do but ride it out. Those are the hardest! I’ve been to a great therapist who has given me tools to help combat the crippling fear during these attacks. Sometimes the attacks can last hours, sometimes days. They are my own personal hell and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone! It’s my worst fears come to life in my mind. Shudder, I’m not going to focus on those because even remembering causes me to feel the anxiety right now.

So instead I’m going to focus on my kind of humor…which usually involves pictures. What can I say, I'm a visual learner and maybe you are, too. Welcome to the images that come to my mind. You’re welcome 😜

(Remember, this blog's audience is family and friends and I like to keep it clean. Don't share any inappropriate pics that might come to your mind because I'll delete those. Just saying.)

Someone close to me is a middle school teacher and I’ve heard quite a few stories of what it’s like teaching tweens and teens now a days. Yikes, so different than what I taught years ago in first grade Special Ed! One thing her school has implemented in their dress code is a ban against durags and bonnets. Now y’all, I went to school in the 70’s and 80’s and the first image to come to my mind was this:

Ha, ha, there is NO way this is what she was talking about! So my next question was, “What’s a bonnet?” and she explained it to me as best she could.

This is the image that came to my mind:

Again, I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed but I am pretty sure this is not what she was talking about, either.

Fast forward to this morning after my bad panic attack and I’m on an emotional high because the attack is over and I got a good night’s sleep. It’s much easier for me to be happy and find humor when I’m not anxious and tired.

So here you go, friends and family, my kind of humor that I shared with this teacher. I texted this:

“Ha ha, just bought these over the weekend at Dollar Tree. A bonnet is a shower cap! Here’s my middle aged white woman’s version. Not cool! These middle schoolers will look back and laugh at themselves someday…while we laugh at them now.”

(Btw, the reason I happen to have that ridiculous pink shower cap is because I use a hot bath as a pain tool. My hair is super thick and usually it’s long so I don’t want it getting caught up in the jets of the tub. I’m cheap frugal so I buy the least expensive thing I can find. No way am I wearing that thing out in public!)

Her reply, “Bonnets are different than shower caps. They’re silky and keep your hair hydrated. But they do look like shower caps.”

So while the tub was filling I had a little more fun laughing at myself. Again, you’re welcome because if you like to compare yourself against other people I’m your go to girl. 😏

(Note to self: these bonnets are definitely NOT shower caps so I need to go find me the plastic ones before my pink one’s elastic totally gives out. I can use these when my hair is long again and I want to do overnight heatless curls.)

Her response to these gems, “Wow, these pictures are something” 😂

“Exactly the point. Someday these middle schoolers will look back and say, ‘What was I thinking?’ just like we look back at the big 80’s hair and laugh. But if that’s what all your friends are wearing, too, doesn’t that automatically make it cool? Maybe to their peers but no one else. Or maybe nobody else even cares now a days? Maybe schools pick to fight this battle because they are worried about weapons being hidden? Who knows?”

To be thorough, here’s what we looked like in middle and high school back in the 80’s:

Yep, we laugh now but we were dead set that the higher the hair the more popular we would be and the better we looked. I'll have you know that hair of mine took three perms and almost two hours of work to achieve. What a waste of my time!

I guess I’m sharing this because Being Happy is knowing when to pick your battles. There really are some cute bonnets and durags out there today imo (and some of those 80's hairstyles aren't too bad either).

I’m pretty sure those are still out of my comfort zone to wear in public but I have started wearing ball caps.

Hats were not allowed in schools back in my day, either, but let me tell show you why they are worn for good reason:

But hey, I’m not a current middle school teacher dealing with the fear of gun shootings and what not. I didn’t have to worry about gangs and/or inappropriate wording or “triggering” logos on hats when I taught; it was all Barney and Lamb Chop stuff for my students. So the schools of today have to decide what’s best for them.

Stay Happy by finding the humor and not being afraid to laugh at yourself. Learn the reasons behind decisions and you’ll be happier, too. Those are my hacks for today.