Yep, I'm back to posting videos on youtube. Still not famous. That's fine by me. Still not in chronic pain...yeah baby! I'll shake what my momma gave me because I finally can. I'm not trying out for Dancing With The Stars, though can you imagine?! Yikes! Me in those outfits, umm, no!
So here's the update from my chronic pain doctor appointment yesterday. Surprise, surprise she had no fax of the IQ psycho test results in my file. You know, the ones that were faxed over to them over a week ago? Ha, but I came prepared and pulled the report right out of my bag/purse. I call that thing "the cave of wonders" for a reason. My husband thinks the bigger the purse the bigger the woman. Whatever...he loves putting his wallet, sunglasses, etc in there, too.
It took her a good 15 minutes to read through it all. She frowned and kept out the page that had the summary that I blogged about. The one that made me cry. I did my best not to interrupt her while she read...you know that is very very hard for me since I say whatever I am thinking...so I did my best not to watch her so I wouldn't think. But really, how can I not watch when I've been dying to hear her take on these results for such a long time?!?
She agrees that she doesn't think I'm bipolar. She does agree that SOMETHING happened in my brain that last treatment. Something we'll never be able to quite explain and she is very very sorry about that. She's never had another patient have that effect, though she has had 2 other patients with hallucinations bad enough that they will never have the IV infusions again, either. She is sure to mention us in all her conversations with other patients who want to try these experimental "cocktails". I will never be one of them again. (Let's hope I never need one of them again!)
Besides being more aggressive when it comes to my verbalization, besides being more forgetful, more argumentative when I feel pressured, having no desire for food or food cravings, not caring about the consequences of my behavior as much, yada yada yada, those are the negatives. The positives are that I'm no longer in chronic pain, I now take only one prescription medication every day, the pain clinic has counselors if I ever want to talk to one (no thank you, I'm done paying to talk to people), she personally likes the New Me, yada yada yada. I got my 3 month prescription for antidepressants and walked out of there canceling my appointment next month.
I feel like I've gotten discharge papers! I'm free! I'm free! No more appointments every single month for medication refills. No more poking and prodding and asking me my pain levels. No more worrying about whether I'll get a DUI every time I drive because I'm on level 2 drugs. No more worrying about getting them stolen or lost or expiring. No more having to use the same pharmacy 45 minutes away because it's cheapest and I have to use the exact same one every single time.
Adios! I didn't even have to take a urine sample test...I didn't have to make a copay because I've hit my out of pocket maximum for the entire family...all by myself! Isn't this wonderful news?
Really, I do mean that. Unless the chronic pain comes back. But with me shaking it like my video, I hope to keep the fibromyalgia at bay.
Oh yeah, one more big time negative. THE BIGGIE. In her opinion I have some sort of PTSD type block that causes all this mental stuff. Something so bad happened that I am blocking it out because I don't want to deal with it or something. She's pretty sure I can "break thru that block with counseling" but I don't want to.
Why? I don't want to go back to being who I was 6 months ago. In chronic pain on tons of drugs unable to shake my money maker because I was drugged up in bed or wanting to sleep all day because I hurt. No thank you! I'd rather be carefree and stress free and babbling and agreeing to disagree with people on Facebook all day about politics or whatever.
Being Happy is Better Than Being Smart...And Being Pain Free Makes Me Very Very Happy!
Have a great day! Shake it y'all :)
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