Yikes!

You know how it always seems like the grass is greener on the other side? You want something, you need something...but then when it finally comes you don't want it because you are afraid? Kind of like giving birth, huh moms out there? Kind of like getting married. Kind of life signing up for an experimental drug treatment because you are tired of living in constant pain and you just don't know how much longer you can take it.

Remember how I've been hounding the psycho neorological doctor for my test results? Yes, I did call and talk to the receptionist last week. I told her straight up I must be a 3 weeker because it had already been over 2 weeks and I had still heard nothing. I explained that I understood squirmy kids in class could be a problem but did she realize that I don't know if I'm mentally retarded and/or a psychopath and/or a narcissist or whatever due to possible brain damage? This doctor who hasn't scored my test yet must be fairly confident I'm not any of those things since I'm able to still be behind the wheel of a car but just how much longer is he going to make the rest of us wait? The neurologist can do nothing without the results, the chronic pain doctors can do nothing without the results, and I'm driving and doing whatever I feel like. That's ok, then?

Haha, you can imagine the stunned silence on the other line as she quickly got my notes. Yes, I now understand why you charged my insurance for 9 hours. (I had originally called because I questioned that. I was told to expect the tests to take 6 hours at most. I whizzed thru it in 3 1/2 hours...for good or bad...so why were they doing that?) Yes, I now understand why you sent me a bill in the mail with a negative balance. (I had actually gotten the Dr himself to call me after hours to explain this one. How a negative balance on my part after I've already made my copay can equal neither one of us owing each other money.) Those were questions the Dr wanted her to make sure I understood if I called back. Those were in my notes. My insistence on getting the results asap apparently didn't make it in those notes. Surprise, surprise.

I pointed out to her that my insurance and I had both paid them already so what were waiting on? Hems and haws because what could she really SAY to that? So I made one more point...would it have mattered if I had lied and answered one of the 40 or so questions about suicide differently? Would he grade my tests sooner if I actually said yes to one of those? Because remember...I'm the one he is allowing behind the wheel of a car...not some bouncy kid.

Who knows if that made it in my chart. Who cares? I just want/need the results already! She said she'd talk to the dr about that. Good. Guess what? The next day I got a letter UN the mask from their office. It was a new BILL. Saying my balance was zero. Sigh. Of course.

I waited two days before calling again. Hmm, are they screening my calls? This time I had to just leave a message. Yesterday was the 3 week mark. No call, no letter, no email.

Today I called again and left a message. I said if he was too busy I'd chime luck up the tests and take them somewhere else. I'm done waiting. I want them NOW or he can refund all of us. Then I got a fb message from someone with an uplifting thought.

Those are always nice to get, right? The annoying part is when they attach some fortune cookie thing about how your dreams will come true in 9 minutes if you forward it along to so many people. Uh huh. So I messaged her back, said thanks for thinking of me, and told her I was setting the timer. 9 minutes and counting.

But see, I didn't follow thru on my part of the deal. I never forwarded the thought. I don't usually do that, I'm not a fortune cookie kinda person. But 35 minutes later the drs office called to say that the results had been forwarded to the two other doctors and my copy of the results were put in the mail yesterday. I told him thank you. See, I'm still polite. I still don't believe in fortune cookies.

But now I'm to the yikes part. What if I get those results today? I guess it doesn't matter. He can't take away my drivers license anyway. Being Happy is Better than being Smart. At least I hope. Because who really wants a professional telling you how "smart" you are and what kind of "official" psychological label you are? Not me. I'd rather hear nice things from y'all instead.

Be careful what you ask for...you might just get it. Wether you want it or need.it you might just hate what it has to say.

Stay tuned...if I can post videos of myself in YouTube I can do this too.  Yikes!