So imagine you've been on narcotics for years. I don't mean every day I'm addicted I've gotta lie, cheat, and steal and shoot up kind of way. I mean the more you hear about on the news. The suburban housewife hooked on pain meds. But see, I wasn't hooked on pain meds. I did not crave them. I did not want them. I only took them as necessary but dude, they were necessary quite frequently!
Why? What was so bad to make this stay at home mom with so many blessings and so many things going for her who looks like Barbie (ha ha, thanks Brit for the compliment. I'm definitely stealing and mentioning THAT one because hey, who ever gets a compliment like that?!?)
Have you ever heard of chronic migraines? Probably. But have you ever heard of fibromyalgia? Probably not. You can google it. You can try to understand as I would type pages and pages of personal experiences but I once saw this picture pop up on Facebook and I cried. THIS. THIS is what fibromyalgia feels like many many many days. (Sorry folks, this is graphic but it is stage make up.)
Imagine being touched and crying out in pain. Imagine being hugged and crying out in pain. Imagine sitting or standing or lying in one position for very long and NOT crying out in pain. Imagine wearing jeans or other clothes that the seams hurt too bad because they were touching you.
Now add in migraines. I'm not talking a headache. I'm talking splitting pain where you can not stand the sun, the sound of laughter or music or sometimes even your pulse beating in your veins, or the smell of foods (yes, even bacon!) making you want to vomit.
Now add in not being able to sleep, being depressed, getting so dizzy you can hardly stand up so you have absolutely no balance, you get so confused you can't even think sometimes (but hey, thinking is overrated when you are concentrating on not MOVING because you hurt so bad), and people wonder why you look you are about ready to cry. They say, "Wow, Lisa! You are losing weight. You look great!" Or they say, "Mom, can you take me to band practice? Mom! I need a ride to band practice. What about church? What about birthday parties?" Or, "What's for dinner? When are you going to do laundry?"
Now you tell me...do prescription drugs seem the answer after you've tried EVERYTHING else you can think of? Even priesthood blessings? For me that answer was a definite YES. GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE. But please, doctor, what are the interactions for this? Am I taking too much? Should I be worried? I don't like the way these meds are making me feel.
Sigh. Years of this folks. Years. So yeah, I jumped at the chance for an experimental cocktail infusion. But strangely enough I don't remember getting any (and I save everything so I'm pretty sure I wasn't given it) specific ingredients of this cocktail...though I do remember briefly being shown it for a quick minute at one appointment but I wasn't offered a copy of it. I didn't ask, though, either.
It was legal. It was covered. I could be seen soon. Sign me up!
But at the chronic pain clinic where I go it was not offered in my regular doctor's office. No, I had to go 45 minutes south to the infusion clinic. It would take 4 hours and this was to be done every day for 3 days in a row. I would be hooked up to an IV because you had to get it slowly and I could not drive afterwards. I was told to expect to be unable to function those three days but the "sedative" type effects should wear off within 24-48 hours. OK. The hope was that it would essentially shock my central nervous system so it would quit over reacting to all incoming stimuli and calm down already. Sure thing. Whatever. Just get me started!
So right before Thanksgiving I started my first infusion therapy.
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