I'll do my best to keep it happy but to be honest, that's pretty hard when a friend you consider to be your very best, has now unfriended you on Facebook because of articles you posted. Hey, I'm glad she was up front about it, but that is so NOT HAPPY feeling for me. I'm sure you can understand. Sooo, here are some answers (my long winded kind) to your frequently asked questions.
1. What is wrong with you?
Nothing. At least if you ask me. Not a single thing.
2. What was wrong with you?
Chronic pain that lasted years and years and years. That had me getting surgeries, taking long lists of drugs, seeing tons of doctors, costing myself and our insurance hundreds of thousands of dollars I'd bet.
3. What finally stopped the chronic pain?
The 4th session of an experimental drug cocktail infusion.
4. Is the chronic pain gone forever?
I wish! I hope! That would be a miracle, wouldn't it? I've never heard of anyone "getting rid" of fibromyalgia. I have heard of chronic migraines being treatable and I've finally experienced that for myself. So no, I doubt it.
5. What is in a cocktail infusion?
Drugs (the prescription kind) and mega doses of vitamins. It's different for every patient based on their doctor's orders and what their specific source of chronic pain is. What was the "secretive" ingredient in mine that I believe changed my world? Ketamine.
6. If my pain does return...as bad as it was before...would I go in for another infusion?
No. Not at this point in time anyway.
Why not?
My doctors would never prescribe it. They've never seen the kind of reaction I had/am having.
Would you push for it if YOU wanted it?
No. Not at this point in time anyway. I'm too scared of it. I've been puzzling this one over for a long time. David asked, "So you'd rather go back to how you were 6 months ago?" No way! But I'd rather never go back to how I was mid-May when I ended the treatment and asked, "Who is David? Who is Jesus?" When I then had to have yet another MRI, EEG, and now IQ and other mental health tests. I've had them all before by the way, except the IQ testing. I'm still waiting for those results.
Would you suggest it as an alternative to someone else in your shoes?
And here is the sticking point for me because right now I'd have to say No. Not if they had/have to go through everything I have the past few months.
7. What is so bad that you'd rather have chronic pain again rather than another cocktail infusion? I kind of like hearing exactly what you think.
I know, right!?! It's so refreshing and I encourage EVERYONE to do more of this. Communication is key to solving problems. Why hide what you are feeling? I'm not always right (for heaven's sake folks, look at the title of my blog!) and I'm totally open to hearing what you think, too. BUT...and this is the biggest sticking point for me...since the treatment it is almost impossible for me to NOT say/write/type whatever I am thinking. That is the biggest difference. Before I could keep my mouth shut. Now I can't.
8. Why is keeping your mouth shut bad?
I've no clue! How else are you supposed to get help for what ails you? If you need something, ask for it. If you want something, ask for it. That doesn't mean you'll get it and you might get it and then realize you didn't even want it to begin with. Yeah?!? Isn't that life? Isn't that learning? That's God's plan. I'm not a robot. I'm tired of feeling like a robot because I was so drugged up and/or in constant pain. Now it's your problem if you get offended by my ramblings, not mine. I'm not shutting up and sitting down anymore because I don't want to. And if you are offended by that right this minute...stop reading and go somewhere else! (Now I'm not feeling too happy. I'm pretty ticked off. Rightfully so in my mind. As if you can't tell :))
9. What have you posted that was so offensive to your friend?
This: I have so many blessings. SO SO MANY. I am happy, I am pain free, and yet I still can't keep my thoughts to myself. You know what? I NEVER WANT TO AND WON'T AGAIN. My friends, family members, or people who just stumble upon this post...does it matter if these testimonials are false? I really really REALLY doubt it. Just take a look and then ask yourself how in the world Planned Parenthood is good for you, your family, your friends, or the public in general. IT IS NOT!
Apparently because I am now bombarding people with my opinions and I'm judging them and their decisions. She tries hard to respect where everyone is in their own hearts and not post divisive material on her FB page.
11. Did I mean to be offensive? What did I do about it when I learned I'd offended my friend.
Oops, switching tenses and stuff again. Remember the IQ tests folks and just roll with me here.
Of course not, fool! I quickly posted this: t's been brought to my attention that some of my posts and/or comments are offensive. Have you seen the movie "Finding Nemo"? My family tells me I am Dory after my treatment this spring. Folks, I'm still shouting at everything and everyone. I might be happy, scared, confused, ignorant, or whatever else. Sorry if I'm not pc enough for you. But I'm happy & pain free & chugging along just like everyone else. My blog title is Being Happy is Better Than Being Smart. Being happy is better than being quiet, too. Trust me. You do what you feel is best and I will do what I feel is best. Neither one of us needs to apologize. The jot of being American. Enjoy it as long as you can! PS: Have a great day...I plan on it
and then later that evening when I had some time I followed up with an email.
12. Now this is getting good! What did your email say?!?
Come on now! She is still my best friend and I'm not throwing her under the bus. Sheesh, what kind of friend do you think I am? If you really want to know my thoughts on abortion and Planned Parenthood ask me yourself! But beware, I won't be PC about it because I really don't care about that anymore. So don't ask and I won't tell. Or do, that's totally up to you. Moving on...
13. So now what?
Sigh. I've got this dang smiley face icon I can not get rid of. That would be first on my list to do...get rid of that stupid thing! But now there are two! I can't seem to get ahead or behind them so they are staying where they are for now.
I know, that's not really what you mean. (Though I am getting pretty hungry because I've spend all morning helping at an Eagle Scout project. I'm gonna go get some lunch here REAL soon.) And I can't answer you. It's wait and see. Smile and enjoy the beautiful day. Count my many blessings. Keep on talking/posting/writing as long as it keeps me happy. Chug along every day just like y'all do. Because really, what else can you do?
14. I choose to be happy.
So there you have it. Smart? Who knows. Beautiful? That's in the eye of the beholder. Crazy? Maybe. Experienced? For sure! Cautious, optomistic, pessimistic, frustrated because the spelling is harder and harder and harder? Ha ha, you can obviously tell because yet again I'm not going back to fix that typo. Well duh! Of course. Wouldn't you?
And now I'm heading for some lunch. Don't ask me what I'm having. That is another side effect of my last infusion. I have no appetite or desire for food. I scrounge whatever I have on hand. Could be prunes...could be chocolate...could be whatever is in the cupboard or fridge and that needs to be eaten before it spoils. Now THAT is a definite change. (Except for pickles. I still hate them much to my husband's dismay. Oh well, that just means more for him, right?)
In conclusion...being happy is better than being smart. Being happy is better than being sad/bedridden by pain. Being happy is so much much better than being quiet. You should try it sometime!
mile emoticonsI
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